Drilling and communicating with Purpose in BJJ
Hi, I'm new to BJJ (about 2 months in) and don't have a background in martial arts. I'm the only woman I see at classes and I'm coming up against two things:
1) I've been trained all my life to not take up physical space and not use my strength with other people, and even though I try to psych myself up before class, I still get half-way through instruction and realize that I'm only using a fraction of my strength, usually because 2) several of the guys that get partnered with me (similar size) go super soft with me, constantly checking if they hurt me and asking me if I'm ok. I know at least some of this is because they're trying to do a good job matching me, and I'm going softer than I should be.
Do you have any advice on ways to overcome my own blocks about going full strength against another person and if there are ways to broach the conversation with the guys I partner with that it actually helps me if they go don't go as soft?
This is a great question and something we have definitely heard before. This is a situation that might require a perspective shift partnered with some additional communication....
1. Let’s shift our mindset from “taking up space” to “being collaborative and successful”! If you are going to class, this is not about fighting for limited space, attention, and success. Despite appearances, Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a collaborative, team sport that requires each person to be able to show up, be good partners to one another, and get better together—as some say, “iron sharpens iron”. Coming in with the mindset that you are working toward being a capable, resilient, and good training partner is going to go a long way!
2. It's not about using strength; it's about purpose and intention! Misplaced strength is just as counterproductive as being too relaxed, so the first thing we need to make sure we are doing is understanding:
a. What am I trying to accomplish in this position?
b. What parts of the physical position are the most important to maintain or execute for me to be successful?
c. How can I do this in the most efficient/balanced way?
Here’s an example: If I am in bottom half guard and am looking to return to closed guard, there are a few positional things that are important: You want to stay on your side, maintain a high underhook with your top side arm, and protect your head with your bottom side arm (important requirements for this version of the position). These things don’t require a lot of aggressive pushing/pulling (or “strength”), but they do require you to be in the correct positions and use some static, especially core, strength, so you don’t quickly collapse under pressure. Efficiency and success in that position can depend on things like making sure your hips are angled correctly and identifying when your opponent’s base is wide, giving you an opportunity to remove the bottom leg and re-guard easily.
3. Get some guidance! If you aren’t sure what you are trying to accomplish or don’t feel like you understand what the key components of the technique are, make sure you ask your coach to elaborate or help you troubleshoot. It can also be very helpful when you are new to partner with higher level people during drilling to help give you some real-time advice and to adeptly recreate the feel of a position for you.
4. Communicate with your training partners! Partners that aren’t re-creating the positions for you appropriately (regardless of the intention) are not going to help you and sometimes makes the position difficult to drill, so communicating is extremely important. A few strategies:
a. Ask a question: Can you give me a little more resistance or weight?
b. If someone is checking in with you too much, I think its okay to thank them for wanting to be considerate but remind them that you are tough and that during drilling they can give you the same pressure and resistance as their other training partners. (Let’s also do a quick self-check…is there a cue they are picking up on that they are trying to be sensitive to?)
Lastly, be patient with yourself! You are new and in a strange environment, doing something that may not feel altogether natural for you, and trying to learn a lot at one time. Start where you are, without judgement, and just worry about moving forward! You got this.